Eriol and the Wolf: A Card Captor Sakura Parody
by Suppi-chan
Summary: Eriol does Little Red Riding Sakura a favor by taking her basket to her grandfather! But, what is he doing to poor Syaoran-wolf?!


04/17/2001  
  
After several comments, I decided it would be best to put a warning up top. This fic is PG-13. I do not joke about ratings. The reason this fic is PG-13 is because it jokes about sexual matters. They are very mild jokes, but they are there.  
  
Vocabulary:  
  
Yaoi/shounen-ai: Male/male relationships  
Ecchi: Mildly perverted, playful-sexy   
Hentai: Perverted, sexy  
  
--suppi-chan  
  
------------------  
  
Eriol and the Wolf  
Or:  
Eriol Finds a Playmate  
  
A CCS Parody by Suppi no Miko  
  
  
  
*some mild yaoi bits, about PG-13, I think? X_x;; Nothing truly hentai, but it does get a bit ecchi. Also gratitious Self-Inclusions and a bit of OOCness*  
  
*also, I dunno how funny it REALLY is, but I do suggest not having any liquids in your mouth while reading this.*  
  
-----  
  
Once upon a time there lived a magician named Eriol, who lived in a big old house with his two magical servants/companions named Nakuru and Suppi. Eriol used be a magician named Clow Read, but he commited mioisis, and his other half was currently living a peaceful and completely NON-magical life as an archeology professor.  
  
Eriol was a very nice person [generally speaking] but he did have one weakness. He had rope and feathers and chocolate and bottles of Reddy-Wip, and nobody to use it on! When he was Clow he used to play with his old magical servant/companion named Yue, but Yue was now living as a boy named Yukito and, Eriol hoped, was doing things with ropes and feathers and chocolate and Reddy-Wip with his new mistress's brother, Touya. [Nakuru was trying to get Touya to do things with ropes and feathers and chocolate and Reddy-Wip with HER, but alas, he had eyes only for Yuki, although Yuki was so nice he would have agreed to a threesome.] But not having anyone to play with made Eriol very sad.  
  
One day he decided to go out and see if he could find someone to play with. He said goodbye to Nakuru, who was doing something complicated with a spring trap and mumbling, "If I put this right by where he walks out of the school..." and Suppi, who was reading the Kama Sutra and giggling at the weird humans. He went outside and walked into the cute little town that they lived in.  
  
The first person he met was Tomoyo, who trilled, "Ohayo, Eriol-san! Are you going somewhere?" She was carrying a large, covered basket over her arm.  
  
"Yes," said Eriol, who never lied when a truth was convienient, "I'm trying to find someone to play with."  
  
"Really?" asked Tomoyo, wide-eyed. "I'm going to Sakura-chan's house to see if these costumes fit!"  
  
Eriol took a look inside the basket. "Tomoyo-san! Do you like leather, too?"  
  
"O~HOHOHOHOOHO!" laughed Tomoyo. "I like it on Sakura-chan!"  
  
"Have fun," smiled Eriol, and walked on.  
  
In the middle of town, he saw a large notice tacked up on the town bulletin board. Three girls [well, young women, but that sounds stupid X_x;;;] were reading it. "Ah, Eriol-chan!" said the eldest, who had red hair desperately trying to escape the two odango buns on top of her head and glasses like his. The other two, Shi Lin and his miko, Jin-san, turned around and waved.  
  
"Ohayo, Meghan-san, Shi-san, Miko-san," he said, smiling. Eriol always smiled. It freaked people out, for some reason. "What are you reading?"  
  
"A notice about a dangerous Chinese wolf that just escaped," said Meghan. "And I thought I made the chain extra-strong, too. So you be careful if you're going off into the woods, ok?"   
  
"Oh, don't worry about ME," said Eriol, whose smile had taken a slightly evil edge. "I'm going to look for someone to play with. Mata ashita!" He walked off.  
  
"Bye!" they chorused. When Eriol glanced back, Meghan-san had taken out a pack of Mild Sevens and a lighter, and was getting beat up by the others for smoking and yelling something about being "legal, anyway." Eriol shook his head.  
  
Eriol decided to walk into the woods to see if there was anyone there. On the path, he met Sakura, the new Card Mistress, who was bouncing into the woods with her usual energy.  
  
"O-HA-YO! ERIOL-KUN!" she said, bouncing to a stop beside him. She was wearing an excessively cute red cloak and had an even cuter small basket on her arm. "Are you going in the woods, too? I'm going on a visit to my Ojiichan! With cookies! That Otousan made for him!"  
  
Eriol reflected that sometimes fate just played straight into one's hands.  
  
"Ah?" he said, looking concerned. "But I just heard that there's a dangerous wolf on the loose!"  
  
Sakura's eyes got huge. "HONNTOO?" She looked concerned. "But, I promised myself to deliver these to Ojiichan today..."  
  
"I'll tell you what," said Eriol, smiling for all he was worth. "I'LL take these cookies to your Ojiisan."  
  
Sakura brightened, and then looked more worried. "But, if it's dangerous..."  
  
"I'll be perfectly all right," smiled Eriol. "Besides, Tomoyo-san is looking for you."  
  
"She IS? Well, all right, then..." She handed him the basket. "But tell me if I can do anything for you in return!"  
  
Eriol kissed her on the cheek. "That will be quite enough," he said, smiling at her.   
  
Sakura turned beet red and ran off.  
  
Eriol laughed quietly and evilly to himself. It was fun to tease Sakura-san, who was a very nice and sweet girl, who unfortunately thought the absolute best of everyone. He wondered what she would say about the "costumes" Tomoyo had in her basket, and walked into the woods.  
  
--------  
  
Eriol delivered the cookies without a problem, and began to walk back home. He STILL hadn't found someone to play with, and he was feeling very sad.  
  
About halfway home he heard a rustle in the woods. Oh? he thought. I wonder if that's the wolf? "Who's there?" he called.  
  
Touya, hair rumpled, popped out of the shrubbery. "Go away," he said, and disappeared again. From the looks of him, he was on third base getting ready for a home run, and Eriol distinctly heard Yue/Yukito moan, "Oohhhh, To-ya, yes, To-ya, right THERE, Tooooo-yaaaaa...." Chuckling, he went on.  
  
He wandered on [but he didn't pick flowers and skip -- Eriol had SOME standards], and then he heard another rustle in the woods, and someone came -- or fell, rather -- out of them. It was the wolf!  
  
The wolf was actually a boy around his age, with cute little pointy ears and a plumy tail that matched his pretty gold-brown hair [which, by the looks of it, ate the last brush that had tried to come near it O_o;;] and even prettier gold-brown eyes. He looked wildly around and then glared at Eriol. "Who are you?" he demanded.  
  
"Eriol," he replied, smiling. A more observant person than the wolf appeared to be would have noticed the evil tinge had returned to his smile. "What's your name?"  
  
"Syaoran," replied the wolf. "What are you doing in the woods?"  
  
Eriol blinked innocently at him. "Delivering cookies to Sakura's ojiisan, of course!"  
  
"Oh." Syaoran-the-wolf turned a bit pink at the name 'Sakura'. "Well, I guess I won't kill and eat you then." He turned and prepared to dive back into the shrubbery.  
  
"But I want to play with you," cooed Eriol.   
  
"Eh?" demanded the wolf, and suddenly found himself wrapped in vines, two of which tied themselves into a perfect bow on top of his head. "HEY! What do you think you're --"  
  
"Playing," beamed Eriol, and dragged the wolf off to his house. "I have lots of rope and feathers and chocolate and Reddy-Wip, and now I have someone to play with!"  
  
"WHAAA-????" The wolf's struggles were fruitless.  
  
"It'll be FUN," said Eriol enthusiastically.  
  
"IIIIIIIYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! SAAAKUUUURAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
-------  
  
"Ah, Eriol-chan!" said Meghan-san. She was going out of the store, too, with a large bag of sake, Marbolo Menthols and what looked suspciously like a birthday cake in her arms, and inexplictably, a large, winged tabby on her head. "Konnichwa!"  
  
"Konichiwa, Meghan-san!" said Eriol. He had a bag in his arms, too. "Ara? A birthday? And who is the cat?"  
  
"Today's the 22nd of Feburary and Amy-chan and I are twenty-one," she explained, nodding toward the sake. "The cat is Plato. Plato, this is Eriol. (Plato likes going to the store with me.)" The cat purred.  
  
"Happy birthday! And nice to meet you, Plato-san." he smiled.  
  
"Thank you very much!" she said. "Ah! Did you ever find someone to play with?"  
  
Eriol gave her his best evil smile. "Of course! I just had to go out to get some more chocolate and Reddy-Wip."  
  
There was a pause. "Chocolate and Reddy-Wip?" asked Meghan-san, carefully. "Uh... come to think of it, we haven't seen that wolf since the day that you delivered..."  
  
Eriol beamed. Meghan-san and Plato-san sweatdropped.  
  
"I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I ABSOLUTELY do NOT want to know, so don't tell me," she said. "Er... have fun...."  
  
"Mata ashita!" he sang out, and hurried back home. It was so nice to have someone to play with again!  
  
THE END.  
  
NOTES:  
  
Meg: Hee! That was actually kind of fun....  
Amy: AND WHERE'S THE SUBARU/KAMUI FIC YOU SWORE YOU'D MAKE ME SINCE I GOT YOU CLOVER 1????  
Meg: *ducks flying lighter-sans* KYAA! I WILL! I WILL! But I have to be in the MOOD!  
Amy: Hmph.  
Syaoran: *not even looking at Meg anymore, let alone speaking to her* ...  
Meg: I guess I'm going to have to ask Jin-san if I can be an Eriol seishi now...  
Amy: You "guess"?  
Meg: *whistles*  
Touya: The WOODS? I scored in the WOODS? Do I have poison oak in unmentionable places now?  
Syaoran, Amy: O____o;;;;;  
Meg: You want to go to a love hotel, sugar, you can pay for it yourself. The woods are free.  
Touya: ....  
  
Anyway. O_o;;; I used to use Meghan and the Flying Kitty Society as my tag line, and it eventually developed into seven cats, Plato, Pegapus, Stargazer, Vanyel, Sebastian, Bastet and Niang-Niang. I should write stories about them. They're funny. Plato's one of the older ones, based off my own cat Rascal, who fortunately for me does not actually like riding on top of my head into stores, but does follow me down the block yelling for me to come back. Weird cat. *still wants flyingkitty.org as a domain name*  
  
And yes, THOSE Mild Sevens, as in the type that a certain Sakurazukamori smokes. You can get them at most Asian markets and the speciality tobacco shop in the mall where we live carries them, too. It was kind of an irresistable temptation when we found them, only they're HORRIBLY strong. I guess it's the charcoal filter ^_-. And we are turning 21 in a week, yay! [Does this make me one of the older members on the CCSML? O.o;;;]  
  
IS there actually a brand of canned non-dairy topping called Reddy-Wip? My mind is going in my old age....  
  
  
04/17/2001  
  
Oh, and Syaoran's name means 'little wolf'. ^_^  



End file.
